You know me best...

... well, maybe not.

But a lot of you zerglings do know that I am a procrastinator at epic proportions (Thank gawd, I have yet to develop whale blubber and a Joseph Stalin moustache), but since I recognize the huge delay, I purposefully chose this day- The 31st: Last day of August to mark the start of my blog. And... To really make it memorable, I'll have you know that I'm currently in the computing commons dwindling away my time not because I have nothing to do, but because I have just ditched a class - Survey of International Economics. A Truly unimportant class as I have better things to do. Yes, yes... To start this blog (which I forecast abandonment- sooner or later).

I admit that while I'm typing away, I'm actually broadcasting on blogtv. I am not chatting, but I am staring at my webcam window checking out the blonde girl behind me. Now... I know that the first image that comes to mind when the word "blonde" is mentioned is that the subject is a woman with long, lustrous golden hair, possessing deadly curves, vivid blue eyes and all features that a Greek goddess should have, in addition to her boobs spilling out of her pink sorority shirt (Calm yourselves, pervs). I urge you to drop that lusty image, because you do not want to, in any circumstance bang that thing (unless of course, a gun or a moving vehicle is involved... Then, go ahead and take that thing DOWN!).

What caught my eye of her was her- muffin top. Ding! Ding! Ding!
Ladies & Gentlemen, that jingle indicates it's time for the wooooooord of the daaaay! According to dictionary.reference.com:

Muffin top

-n. informal: a roll of flesh spilling over the top of a tight skirt or trousers, esp when the midriff is exposed

[C21: from the similarity of this to a muffin expanding over its case]

Next thing you should do is imagine that ghastly beast rubbing its belly button, digging into it and then raising its finger up to its enormous nostrils and then finally taking a big whiff off of it. Now that I have violated almost all five of your senses, I shall continue on my rant.

I don't get it. Why do people even try squeezing into clothes two sizes too small? Especially, fatties. I know what you're going to say... "Crayon, you're so mean.", "OH MAAA GAWD... You did not just say that! LIKE WOW."

NEWSFLASH, bitch. It's called being honest. Even though I do admit that I can be quite curt at times and have always had sarcasm at the tip of my tongue ready to fire, but THAT is a different story.

Anyway, I find the best place for trollin' people is probably in college. You've got them stereotypes floating around in the sea of 60,000 folks. The muffin top girl a.k.a. Chunky just happened to caught my eye today.
Time for me to take flight as I need to be at a class in half an hour. Oh, by the way... She was wearing daisy dukes and a black low cut top that was stretchable. Just thought you should know.

Cheers,
ZomgACrayon

P/s: PETA, you gotta let Chunky run free and lose some weight.